You know you've been playing Imperion too long when...

If any or all of these apply to you, you've been here FAR too long....


1. You get frustrated when you can't Mark Return your Sims.

2. Your mother eats a pear, and you giggle when you consider how useful
it would be against city smog.

3. You see more than one dog being walked on the street, and this
confuses you.

4. Walking to the grocery store, you wonder if it wouldn't be faster to
Hoist.

5. You're watching Underworld II, and when Marcus attacks, you think
"Wyvern Bond!"

6. When watching the same, Michael's balance confuses you.

7. You're playing Samurai Wariors, and daydreaming how easy it would be
if you had envenom.

8. When playing the same, you could swear Nobunaga DOES have envenom.

9. Stuck in traffic, you feel the urge to call home and ask for a pilg.

10. It suddenly dawns on you, you can't walk to the corner store and
back in the time it takes to run from Antioch to Ithaqua.

11. When you see a woman get angry with a man, you start chanting
"Groinkick!"In your head.

12. When the kick lands, you smile, wryly.

13. ... You realize your roomate is thinking the exact same thing.

14. You stand outside a room, curious, and wishing you were Sidhe.

15. You walk in, and realize you are not wearing camouflage.

16. You try to run away, and remember you can't bloody Blackwind.

17. The sentance "Beware of Force, young Windwalker." Makes perfect
sense to you.

18. For some reason, you have absolutely no trouble with the concept of
a grasshopper in a sewer fighting a werewolf,and coming out the victor.

19. You have ever begun a conversation with "So, I got killed by
vibrations, a demon, and a snake today..."

20. You begin using "Oi!" And "Pfft!" in everyday conversation.

21. Someone speaks of decades of devoted service to a person, or an
ideal, and you think "tha'ts nothing! I've been a priest for eighty
years!"

22. .... and you're still in high school.

23. You have that moment of sadness when you realize the work world
doesn't care about your ranked combat ratings.

24. You're flipping past National Geographic, and your heart skips a
beat when you hear the word "Artifact".

25. You try to call your cat, and realize it's not as well trained as
you'd like.

26. You forgot you had a cat.

27. You snicker, while going through your mother's spice rack.

28. Watching Constantine, at the end you think... "Hey! Katsuma's seraph
is Gabriel!"

29. say your MSN looks a little.... erm... wierd, and you don't know why
:/

30. Watching a sunset, your mind cycles through the colours, matching
them with Baar's suns.

31. Your facebook lists one of your pet peeves as being set on fire
while you're underwater.

32. Your hands spasm reflexively when you talk.

33. Playstation joysticks, previously the best invention ever, anger
you.

34. You realize you have no triggers for Halo.

35. You have no Celt blood in you, yet you find yourself muttering
"Aye".

36. It snows, and you scan shops for bootspikes.

37. You spend a few moments staring blankly at your mouse before you
remember how to use it.

38. It angers you that a papercut takes three days to heal.

39. A bloodmoon makes you think you can take on the world... and you
try.

40. A paycheck of less than a thousand dollars is insulting.

41. A paycheck with overtime means a surcoat.

42. The presidential/Prime Ministerial race is over, and all you can
think looking back is: "Well, -I- would have iron-coded the jerk, but
that's just me."

43. The fact that you cannot contest your supervisor irks you.

44. Being engaged for a decade and a half seems reasonable to you.

45. You leave your dog with a friend for the afternoon, and when you go
to pick him up, you automatically hand over eight dollars.

46. You wake up in the morning, and touch your forehead, then mumble a
vague prayer of thanks that no one saw that.

47. "Heh" has replaced "lol" in your MSN conversations.

48. You regularly have a conversation with your best friend, using just
emotes.

49. Reading black and white text hurts your eyes.

50. You're in a barfight, and wonder why eating random mushrooms doesn't
make you feel better.

51. You realize you can't kickflip your brother in the face when he gets
uppity.

52. When your computer lags, you want a smoke.

53. You ask your roomate if they have a churata to spare for you.

54. You ignore the fact it's not a good idea to uppercut a bobcat.

55. Your first instinct is to challenge your girlfriend to a duel, then
realize this might not solve the problem the way you're used to.

56. You're playing Paper Mario 64, and in your frustration, you think
"Just... need... a surcoat..."

57. Harvest Moon is pretty much the life of your Outrider.

58. In bed with your wife for the night, you whisper "Goodnight {Enter
character's wife's name here}."

59. When you wake up already knowing how many times you're going to die
today, how many you're going to kill, and still feel you're a
well-adjusted human being.

60. You forget you actually ARE a human being.

61. Christmas dinner and board meetings make you feel like a Khandavan
at war.

62. You've ever replaced the phrase "Wolf in sheeps clothing" with
"Stavennite in Antioch".

63. You're watching Spiderman, and think "What a great addition to
Bonding!"

64. You refuse to walk into the club, cause you can feel the vibrations
from outside.

65. You see a guard dog, and get the hell outta Dodge.

66. When the only fight you've had with your significant other in the
last three months is over the computer useage schedule.

67. The only people habitually around o nyour MSN are the other
Imperianites.

68. Your mom doesn't call you for your birthday, but you have seventeen
"happy birthday" messages when you sign in.

69. When you walk into your bedroom and find your roomate rooting
through your stuff, you catch yourself muttering incoherently about key
sigils.

70. When asked your age, you respond with "One hundred eighty!" And beam
with pride.

71. Chips'n'dip and Mr. Noodles become your basic computer-time dinner
for one.

72. You've drawn your character in your clothes.

73. You've drawn your character's partner in your partner's clothes.

74. You've drawn your character in your partner's clothes.

75. You've drawn your partner in your character's clothes.

76. You haven't drawn anything else since.

77. When someone asks you where you were born, you answer "Celidon"
without catching it.

78. When you start using Dregaur's name to threaten your friends... and
you're nowhere near a keyboard.

79. You think in terms of combat strategy as you wheel your shopping
cart through the grocery store.

80. You've used the phrase "Make you a deal. Come to my forest, I'll
come to your city." In normal conversation, then turned around and
realized it's applicable as Antioch and Ithaqua...

81. ...And you laughed at yourself.

82. You can't type IN or OUT without putting an R at the end.

83. You see the following, and laugh with familiarity:
OUTR GOD INK (HOLY TATTOOS, BATMAN!)
GET GOD FROM PACK (The portable way to bless your day!)
GIVE GOD TO (whomever) (You know they really need it)
GET 30000 GOD FROM BLADE (feels like it sometimes, though, eh?)

84. You know what Maidenhair does, looks like, and tastes like, but have
no idea what a Clematis is.

85. Your messenger system is 90% Imperian, 5% inactive, and you can
swear you have your mother on here somewhere....

86. A flock of birds cast shadows on the ground, and you have a moment
of panic before you realise the local park probably doesn't have seige
engines installed.... Probably.

87. You've ever overscheduled during the day, because you forgot that
-you- actually have to sleep more than five minutes.

88. Someone mentions a new set of tools,and you start thinking about
their blunt dammage stats.

89. You start telling someone something you realize they likely
shouldn't know, and your knee-jerk reaction is to start saying "miss"
before you catch yourself.

90. They hear you say "miss", and act like it didn't happen.

91. "Skadoosh" reminds you more of Xaarin's early days in the Taekyon,
than of any cartoon panda.

92. When you think ego, you think Apoloc.

93. When you think ego, you think Jorachim.

94. You remember the placings from the last three tournaments.

95. You schedule your free time around that of your character's spouse.

96. You have a "Honk if you love Dranor" bumper sticker.

97. The local public schoolyard reminds you vaguely of the Greytrem
Goblin Villages.

98. You're better at managing fake credits than real money.

99. You insist the Olympic Flame should ONLY be carried by Ageranu.

100. The word Imperian is misspelled in the title, but you've ignored
it.


Penned by my hand on the 4th of Bellum, in the year 579 AD.