Oh, I'm no Bard, but I'd let Ihsan caterwaul for me!
Since he was so good at it, out there in Stavenn's streets!
Bawdy and bright was your ballad-story, Sweet.
But what's fiction without facts for a little bardic treat?

I'd like to sing a story, about a man who's a complete loon.
If he got 'anyee more smarters', he'd be up to Imperian Rank of Buffoon!
And if I see a sentimental song posted about ME soon,
I'm sure Aetherians will start gouging out their eyes with rusty spoons!

Wow, this ballad's already getting heavy and boring,
I'm sure if you're to this point you're sleeping and snoring!
Here's a little violet; eat it. After your ballad, I'll ingest some too!
Or does composing songs about what you obviously don't know do it for
you?

I'd like to sing a story, about a man who's a complete loon.
If he gets a head start now, he'll be up to Imperian Rank of Buffoon!
I'm sure I'll see a song posted about ME soon,
And Aetherians will want to gouge out their eyes with rusty spoons!

I sincerely hope you don't feel slighted,
I just want you to cut out your own tongue or bite it!
So put the quill down, Dear, and go to sleep in your lonely bed
Nobody wants to hear about the outlandish thoughts in your head.


(Or mine either, for that matter.)


Penned by my hand on the 20th of Tenebrae, in the year 559 AD.