I've been told I'm not very polite
And here is what I say
Despite the common rumor now
I'm quite nicer than some today

Although in situations with men
I skip the normal niceties
But I never forget my manners and such
And observe the polite courtesies

Like please and thank you and "You're welcome kind sir"
And bowing as I leave the scene
But in some cases, when I'm goosed or such
I tend to get angry and mean

You see, I don't much like to be kissed
If you aren't my fiance, scarcely if you're a friend
So if you try, even though you've been warned,
You'll lose most your teeth and get a sore rear end.

Otherwise, I'll wish you well
And maybe give some playful tease
For that's who I am and that's who I'll stay
So don't call me impolite, if you please.

Penned by my hand on the 13th of Letum, in the year 427 AD.