Sometimes you look back, when you want to look ahead.
Sometimes you stay silent, when there's so much to be said.
Sometimes when all I need is someone to hold,
I look all around but there isn't anyone to be found.
Sometimes when all I need is a friendly word or two,
yet there is only silence, only deafness in you.

I search, I seek, I explore,
yet no knocking on my door.
What do you need, what do you want,
is there a thought there, or a care just for me?
or maybe you just cannot hear my heart felt plea?
or is there just not anything left here for me?
say something, anything, let's not pretend.
My heart is not yours now, and I am just a friend.

Yet my desires, they do not ever end.
Things, and thoughts run through my head,
thankful you do not know where these thoughts in my mind has led.
Blushing as the last thought crosses my mind,
I hide it away in a place no one cares to find.
Deep within me hold true secrets still unrevealed.

Not to mention temptations, and things we should not have said.
Things that I lock away, and keep sealed deep in my heart instead.
Scars on my heart, scars that have never healed.
Done some things in my life I had better leave unsaid.
Regret is hard to find, when in my heart you should be mine.
But you know its true, you fed the temptations that my reactions led.

Yet now you act like nothing was said.
Can you turn emotion on and off?
Like a faucet fully running, and then fast just turned off?
Is it really such a bad little game that we play?
I notice you smile and fast turn away.
Could it be that you too are unable to see?
That maybe for once, you just might be happy?
No not I, as from the fear I lock deep inside.

I cannot run, I cannot flea.
I just live in silent misery.
One day though I know that I still will find,
one truly sweet gift,one that is truly divine,
that will fill my heart fully,
and a smile upon my face for once there would shine.


Then and only then will you finally be all mine.




Penned by my hand on the 10th of Ultio, in the year 492 AD.