As promised:

First, to Kinsarmar. The one question that is asked the most of me, has
been 'Why?'

Why did I betray the trust placed in me, the city I loved and cherished,
on something so worthless as a few tons of stone, metal, cloth, and
foodstuffs. Why?

Sadly, the answer isn't so short.

Firstly, imagine a scenario. For twenty years, you have lived in the
same city. You have risen the ranks as a respected official, blindly
serving with love and faithfulness, putting your soul's existence on the
line in skirmishes and wars, killing a friend when he becomes corrupted
by demons, being a first line of defense upon invasion. Imagine that you
have donated years of work, and hundreds of thousands of sovereigns to
this city, carried literally tons of stone on your back from the far
reaches of the desert, so that it might be used to strengthen the walls,
or pave new roads for the citizens to walk.

Imagine doing all of this thanklessly. Imagine when you make that
donation to the city, and leave on a lengthy journey, to return and find
that the city is still bickering over who should and shouldn't be Erege,
which family should or shouldn't be kicked out, that the roads haven't
even been considered to be built, through all the bickering. Imagine
another individual donating a mere anthill to your mountain of a life's
saving, and getting praised and favoured for it, while you sit and watch
and however childishly fume quietly. Imagine the members of your Divine
Order using your Father's personal channels to talk about city
officials, use the channels of the Royal Council to bicker about guild
members or Order members, and use private guild means for nothing at
all. Some could withstand this and succeed. I failed.

I watched as the tons of stone and steel and cloth and foodstuffs I so
selfessly donated lie in warehouses, sitting idly, and an inspiration
caught my mind. I'd teach them a lesson! Swiftly I crushed the thought,
as it was simply against my nature, to turn traitor, thief, betrayer in
one swift stroke. But the thought simply wouldn't leave.

Imagine toiling with your conscience; your mind telling you to do
something so treacherous, so against your desires, while you struggled
against it day after day, month after month, for two, three years time.
Imagine this evil taking place in your heart and mind while you lived a
seemingly unperturbed life.

Imagine seeing that a chance to prove yourself, to join the ranks of the
city elite, an Erege opening. You enroll yourself in the voting, only to
watch yourself lose by a single vote to one more than a decade your
younger. You, having served for decades, and this young damsel, still a
child to yourself, not having proven herself yet, who you've grown to
dislike (see Order bickering about citizens) personally over the years.
Imagine losing by a single vote. Obviously, a missing messenger could
have cost you the election, or perhaps an ally simply was asleep during
the election?

I, again, however childishly, immediately recontested. And then the
torrent of hate spewed forth from my former home. Lyrith, head of my
Order, longtime prominent member of Kinsarmar and the Bards, who I
thought was a friend, instead of speaking to me in person, calmly, to
talk me out of my action, waylays me in the public news of Kinsarmar,
driving a dagger into my heart as I read his words.

That thought that ingrained itself in my mind and heart? I did it. I
gave in to the urge, and how easy it was. How easy it was... Even
justifying it as taking back what I donated was wrong. A donation is a
change of ownership. When I gave those commodities, I gave up all claim
to them. They were Kinsarmar's, not mine.

Two days later, I returned everything, and was cast out and enemied to
every organization I ever loved.

I'm sorry.

Penned by my hand on the 21st of Ultio, in the year 441 AD.