H'lo Aetherius. Been a long time gone, hasn't it? Those of you old
enough to know me, my condolences. Those of you young enough not to?
Watch out I don't corner you and steal your youth with tales of my own.
But I write today to offer a humble guide to the beginning menace. One
thing I feel I can speak on with some confidence is the ways in which
people interact and learn from one another, and how they might affect
the outlook of others from those interactions. I thought I'd offer up a
brief summary of one option you might take, should you seek to earn the
status of Monster, or at the very least impress your foes and friends
alike. Follow along, and don't be afraid to try this out as you go!

Step The First: Prism to a group of seven, all of whom are your enemies.
Step the Second: Perish.
Step the Third: Discuss your issues while still a spirit.
Step the Fourth: Threaten death via message from Dis. Nothing is more
menacing than this, I assure you. Be sure to choose someone thrice your
age, and call them a disparaging remark pertaining to their age. "Boy"
or "Girl" wouldn't be out of place here.

Follow these simple steps, and the name you make for yourself will be
memorable, and known throughout the lands. Ignore the snickering, it's
just envy given form and voice.

As Ever,
Harker

Penned by my hand on the 9th of Tenebrae, in the year 554 AD.