Aetherians, I have an entreaty to make to you! In pursuing the latest in engineering, I've stumbled upon a mystery so deep and pervasive, it absolutely cannot go unresearched. What is this mystery, you ask? Why, nothing less than the origin of love itself!

My theories thus far point to the influence of the moons on the breeding habits of all of Aetherius' races. It seems that the affinities of different individuals for a particular lunar aspect has some definite bearing on their attraction, or lack thereof, to others.

In order to research this, my gnomish companions and I have designed a splendid handheld cannon that can be used to extract some portion of the lunar affinity of others and store it within the apparatus of the cannon itself. Unfortunately, there is no way I alone can gather up enough of the affinity for the purposes I will require. That's where you can come in!

Just LUNARCALL LOVECANNON and some of my associates will deliver one of my inventions direct to you. Use it to SHOOT others, and a bit of their affinity will be collected. It's just that simple! Of course, being shot has its disadvantages, and if you find your own lunar affinity too far diminished, the cannon may not work for you. Be warned!

Penned by My hand on the 22nd of Bellum, in the year 659 AD.