What can one say when at the mercy of betrayal?
I have been here before. Emotion is such a powerful facet of existence, and yet it is such a poor compass for decision making.
It has been confessed in public that my removal from my home was planned since my return from a long sleep. I am both amused and saddend by such a way of seeing me as a threat to the machinations of tyrrany.
Yes, tyrrany. I'll call it what it is. When you threaten a citizen not to contest for power, when you stamp out anyone who speaks in dissent, when you milk the city entrusted to you for your own benefit and profit, putting the needs of the citizenry aside, it is tyrrany.
Nepotism. Cronyism. These have paved a path for one to have more power than was ever intended by the founders of Antioch. The laws have been rewritten in a way that bodes ill, but not nearly as much as Antioch has become lawless, with citizens slaying citizens in the streets and nobody held accountable for missing funds.
I have been ousted, and yes, I feel anger. There was no Justice. More than that, I feel sad, for that was my home, with my friends, forced to choose between a similar fate or speaking up.
Yes, speaking against a decision, a broken law, a sin, a blemish, is now punishable in Antioch with loss of citizenship. Part of me is glad the Divine have moved on so that the pure Gods of that city cannot see how it has fallen.
Am I perfect, then, to say such things? I would never claim such a thing. I am as mortal as anyone, but I know my motives, and all I sought was joy in my work, improvement of my home, and to give my loyalty to such as were worth it. If this was perceived as a threat to the hold of power, I have no regrets.
What did I do, then? Did I make threats? Did I contest? Did I incite riot? Oh, yes. I spoke to a guildmember, giving her personal information that was relevant to her and involved the actions of Mukhtar. I said nothing about anyone's character, I did not make assumptions, I simply shared what I would want someone to share with me, treating others as I would like to be treated.
And my past? I was an Erege and a guild secretary for many years in Kinsarmar. I was ousted because I shared what an Erege said about me over city, because I found it crude to speak thus about another citymate. I was ousted by a man I had walked away from in love because I found his heart to be stone. Let us put to rest this talk that I was a mad and power obsessed. I was a young girl who did not know aught of true love.
This is my life, laid bare. I am sure it will be followed by false accusations, by mockery, by the hate that possesses those who are cruel. I forgive you before you even speak the words.
If you are my friend, or have been my friend; if you have shared a kind word with me and have no reason to hate me, I ask only that you stay yourself. Stay your words, stay your blade, for truth shall come to light. I do not wish to spill the blood of those I care for, or respect.
Antioch has lost two guilds this day. Perhaps the world will forget in time. Perhaps it is of no matter. I say, let the world ponder what this really means. Let such a day be remembered as the day that Antioch's Shah pledged the city to his pocket and renounced the path of righteousness. His own confession is that he does not care what happens in the city so long as he holds power.
Farewell, my friends bound within the Sands. You have my truest affection.
Solemnly,
Invoke of Righteousness
Vanmoriel Sa'Gael
Penned by my hand on the 2nd of Halitus, in the year 41 AM.
