I am leaving the way of the knife. I have spent my years following a
"path" with the unattainable reward of what? I have killed for remarks,
gold, favors, political advancement, women, family but never pleasure.
It is time that I repent my sins. The signs have come, and I have turned
them. I will remain a citizen of my city, a member of my guild.

I have given away my offensive items to younger members of my guild. I
will not be carrying a dirk nor whip upon me. Many have advised me to
carry something, anything to defend myself. I have made many enemies,
few allies. I have repented the sin of a blade and will not use it to
turn the knife of another.

What is life if you learn nothing but the hilt and tip.

I am not a follower of peace. Young men and women will fight, bloody
their steel upon one another. They will become old and one day like
myself realize that they have fought for nothing more then the
advancement of a figure, the furthering of a distant ideal. Because that
is what we do is it not? We fight because we are told to.

I realize now that I have lost what is most precious to me. I have lost
the ability to befriend, to love, to care.. I have learned a lifetime of
tears, covered them with the bravado of danger and intrigue. I have
never felt so alone in my life then I do now.

I am a shell of many things. I have been called the Champion of Celidon,
Rogue, Leader, Secretary, Commander of the Guard, Imperial and more. I
am nothing now. A simple old man with too much to learn. Perhaps I will
learn to be called other things. Perhaps I will learn what I did wrong.
Is this the cruel end of my life? A bitter disappointment in the
realization of all my achievements... I had once hoped for more.

I am no wise man, nor scholar, But I have advice. Learn to love the hand
that moves the sword, not the sword that guides the hand, for in the
time of compassion, it is your hand that you can stop, not the blade.

In exit,

Sovereign Aelastidru Nessaja

Penned by my hand on the 20th of Aequitas, in the year 503 AD.