Dear Aetherius,

You are boring.

Let us not mince words here, for time is short. Your jeers and boasts
are uninspired and bland, your wars are short lived and infinitely
inconsequential. You are not graceful in your (very) minor victories or
defeats and you are bovine in your desire to obtain increments of power
through the destruction of life on the continent. Your politics are
transparent and your conflicts hilariously simple. Your lives are
ultimately meaningless and this is clearly unacceptable, but I write
this not to berate you, but to offer you a solution and to fill you with
hope.

I declare myself the One True King of Aetherius.

Lay down your arms, for they are useless. For you see: I possess the
ability to rise from the dead, born anew out of the ashes of my
temporary defeat. I have no need to fear your assaults or horribly
limited powers, be they mundane, God-infused, magic-laced or
demon-oriented. Should you slay me, I shall only awaken from my
momentary slumber to walk the ground once again. I am, in a word:
undefeatable.

Do not abandon hope, however, for I come to you not to conquer, but to
help lift you up out of squalor. Join me in my courts, whose dominion
spans the entirety of Aetherius. You need not leave your posts, in your
homes and townships, you need not abandon your gods or beliefs. You need
only swear fealty to me in order to join me in my crusade to bring the
world to a more enlightened tomorrow. No more shall petty squabbles and
inane warfare shatter what small pockets of progressive thought are left
throughout this land, for they shall be protected and granted my mastery
over the powers of life and death should they join me.

Join me as a knight, a courtier, a scribe whatever you have to offer the
Kingdom is most welcome and surely, the Kingdom is grateful for your
donation in service. Let all those who believe thatthis, the sickening,
soulless world that we inhabit now, is not the be-all end-all, but the
imperfect beginnings of the perfect civilization join the One True King
in his quest. Together, we will purge ourselves of the ridiculous
trappings of failure and the mires of deceit and hate, and begin anew as
shining beings that will not accept a lack of grace or lack of
inspiration in themselves and others.

I am the One True King.





Penned by my hand on the 13th of Tenebrae, in the year 564 AD.