Song,

Where I am now is where I am now. I have accepted that. Now, I have come
to realize that perception is the key to the clashing views here. No
matter what I say, your perception of it is going to be different, so
pretty much any argument I make is moot. Nevertheless, I am going to try
to explain this one last time.

Icarus was left to die while nightmares tortured her. She asked for help
with it, because it was a rather unique situation. She got no aid. That
is why she left Antioch. That is why she fights against you now. You
have no idea of the actual events that happened, and why she got no aid.
I do. And the reasons for it are absolutely revolting.

I do not "claim" to have been kidnapped into Stavenn. I was. You review
of the situation is rather irrelevant, since it is saying that people
weren't going to come running into Stavenn, and does little to prove
that my statement is a "claim" rather than the truth. When she took me
into Stavenn that time, it was her bet that no one would bother with me,
as no one bothered with her. She was correct. The reasons for which are
irrelevant. All they could suggest was for me to find a way to kill
myself. Granted, the situation was rather awkward, but people could have
at least made the pretense of an effort to do something. That I would
have accepted. I didn't expect the city to come running in, but I would
have liked it better if they would have thought about some other option
than "Kill yourself" as a valid remedy. Now then, if you are going to
take the assumption that my claim is false, at least provide something
in the means of tangible evidence to prove that what I said is a lie.
You weren't here for it, so who are you to say that I am speaking false?
You don't even know what happened apart from what you heard about, and
that is nothing more than heresay.

I am glad the City can see to change the nature of my donations. I
donated that gold for the sole purpose of buying the city a library.
Perhaps I wanted to see the city have one. Whatever the case, I fronted
every single sovereign for it, and I think I should have a minor say
about where the funds that I donated to the city, mentioning that it was
for that purpose, go. The least you could have done was say, "Hey, we
aren't going to build the library right now, because we feel that we
need this more. Do you mind if your contribution is placed to that
instead?" It's called "courtesy". I could have done much, much more with
the amount of gold that I donated than simply plunk it into Antioch's
account for them to use in any manner they see fit.

Next paragraph of yours: I have her to thank, yes. Because -she- was the
one who brought the notice to me about how people wouldn't even make an
attempt to find a way to perhaps get me out of a bad situation. Not even
think about an attempt. People just shrugged it off and didn't think
twice about it. Some loyalty. She was the one who brought me to notice
that your zealots were among the people that fight alongside the very
things they preach against. People who claim to despise the taint of
magick and rid it from the world, and here they are fighting with people
using it, not giving a care in the world that it is being used right in
front of them. That is hypocrisy. Not everyone in Antioch is guilty of
it. But there are a few of you.

As for your claim about my presence in Stavenn, well...gee. I actually
spent most of my time in Canaae sewers bashing carrion creepers. It's
about the only thing I do around here. I am sorry that the few times you
decided to take a glance at me you happened to see me in Stavenn, but
that is -hardly- where I spent "most" of my time. Why don't you ask them
if they have seen me wandering around their streets before these things
happened? Most of them will say no, because I wasn't. In fact, I call to
any Stavennite to answer for me, and truthfully, mind you: How often was
I in your city before now? I would enter on short terms and I wouldn't
venture any further than where I was required. That is the truth. Sorry
that you can't see that.

Now, you are saying that I did not expect to be enemied? By the Gods,
no.. I expected it. I just wanted to make it clear that I took
absolutely no hostile action against the city before I was ousted on
false suspicions and half-truths and rumours. I have accepted that I was
enemied, and rightly so. Don't read between the lines. Take my arguments
for what they are.

People siding with magick-users against the demons, because they are a
bigger threat. I make no pretense that I was strictly anti-magick. But
-I- held true to my beliefs. Everything I preached, I swallowed. I lived
my life by the oath that I had sworn. Others of you, people who are so
direly anti-magick, who act against it at every turn..and then join
sides with it? That is the hypocrisy that I am talking about. How many
of you claim to despise magick in every way, and that it is simply too
unpredictable and cataclysmic for use by mortals? And yet you would
stand idly by while it is used in front of you, deeming it "good"
because it is helping you squash the demons. I remember what I was
taught. "No magick is 'good'. It is all, even when used with benevolent
intentions, evil." How easily someone can just forsake that. I have,
because you have done so yourselves. There is no more reason for me to
try to fight it if the very people who are supposed to turn to it for
aid and abandon their own faith the moment they have a bigger problem
than they can deal with themselves.

I do not join Stavenn because I harbor magick. I don't really care about
that anymore. Let them use it. Let the world end. I have no intentions
of stopping them. Yes, I believe I was wronged. Nothing I can say will
apparently get this through to anyone. So, you expect me to sit by and
do nothing against those who would betray my honour and my integrity?
Not going to happen. I will have my vengeance, because I know the truth
of everything that has happened. I am not hiding anything. You made
assumptions based on the heresay of others. You had no idea of what I
was doing, yet you assumed you did. You took action against me and
stripped me of everything I had. No, you never laid a hand on me. Just
my honour. And that is something that I would fight for. How quickly I
join with my former enemies, you must be thinking. Yes, to give me a
place to go for support and protection in the days to come. I did not
join Stavenn because I was previously aligned with them.

So tell me, where is my hypocrisy? Please, tell me where I said one
thing and then did another. I challenge you to that.

-Mahanaxar

Penned by my hand on the 2nd of Solis, in the year 434 AD.